THIS - IS - SPARTAN!!!Just watched 300 - pure adrenaline rush !! Complete no-brainer with no plot whatsoever... just pure action .
But yep, I liked it. It's M18 for obvious reasons - decapitation, insane amounts of blood, lots of sexual scenes ( but of course, who cares about them when you have an entire 2 hrs plus of hacking and slashing) and gruesome monsters about to give kids nightmares for years. Heck, the heroes alone will give kids nightmares .. it's that violent. But I'm well over that age!! Hahha yess..... one of the times it feels good to be an adult.
So who watched? Hmm.. well there's Sam and Ivan and then Daniel and YY... but I think the 2 most interesting reactions to this show were DF and YY. With all the violence and stuff I was wondering if she was OK wiv tt cos she was de only girl there ( lol, is this discrimination?) but she managed well alright - she SLEPT thru half the movie . LOL!!! Can't imagine siah... wad wiv all de loud music n stuff... not her type of movie apparently. And then DF... what to say siah... got the excellent fortune to sit next to him . Whole movie complaining about how this movie is such a terrible influence on people, on how it's going to influence kids to go around chopping each other.... wah laoooooo GO BACK CHC LAH DF!!!!!
K back to the movie. Of course, it has had a lot of negative reviews, seeing as how it IS a complete no-brainer - except for the walling thing, not much strategy, but slightly more intelligent than Rambo. Pure CGI fest, and a bloodbath to the extreme. What exactly is the plot? Oh, something about the Battle of Thermopylae - in the movie, it is literally translated to the " Hot Walls". And about the Spartan army - the race of Greeks trained from young through the most brutal conditioning, to become a race of pure warriors ... think Gurkhas in ancient Greece. And like the Gurkhas, they are just as insane, if not worse - they live to fight until their last drop of blood, and war to them is all about the glory, about the killing.. looking at them, you find they are far more terrifying than the Persians themselves.
That is the main argument people tell about the movie - moral ambiguity. Why is it that these people are glorified - in fact, that war itself is glorified in the movie? It is a terrible thing, one that should be demonised, like, say, in the movie Iwo Jima. But let's face it, this is an action flick. And to be honest, this isn't about glorifying war. If you look at it, the heroes are really as vicious as the enemies, in fact worse, and if you ever forget that you are looking through their blood-crazed eyes, please go consult your psychologist, and leave that kitchen knife alone. The trick to enjoying this show is forgetting all that stuff for a moment and to just go along with the movie. Heck, its even funny sometimes, how these men are practically insane ... and wildly sadistic. But ok, there is some honour to their actions - they go there to die.
Alright, time to intro the main characters -

( from left to right)
- YY as high-class Ah Lian
- Samuel as smoking Ah Beng
- Who else can it be siah?? Lol... but Ah Beng dun smile right?
- Wad a DF
- SGT Ivan as owe $ pay $ Ah Long
Yep thats the gang! And now the movie characters !
LEONIDAS - ( yes same idiot as above, same pose- I'm lazy to get extra, ok?)
King of Spartans, mad mofo. Xerxes asks for him to lay down his arms, he cries " COME AND GET THEM!!!"
( actual historical quote)

XERXES aka . Venerable God-King Xerxes , His Divine Grace, The Awesome Narcissistic Bodypiercer, super shunyan
King of Persians, with a great fetish for body-piercing, plenty of slaves to die for him, and a harem full of women to lure idiots to help him. Also filthy rich, with a whole throne made of gold being carried around by his servants. Powerful because he owns half of Asia with lots of troops that number in the millions, but he has several weaknesses - 1, he thinks he's a god, which means he's immortal - which can be kind of stupid when you come straight up to an enemy army with no one to shield you.... then 2, hes got so many women and body-piercings, the easiest way to kill him would be an STD. Not to mention he might be gay, seeing as how he has wayyy too many women not to have died from an orgasm by now.

QUEEN GORGO aka. the love interest in an otherwise completely bloodrushed film.
Queen of the Spartans, and obviously wife to Leonidas, she makes up the romance portion of this movie, the sub-plot of love being intensified when the king's lieutanent loses his son and cries out for his lost chance to tell his son how much he loved him. Part-time Queen, part-time mother and full-time asskicker, she also makes the most sexual scene in the movie- which is of course later lost in the bloodbath, but hey, something else to mention in the movie I guess. Even she kills people, and makes some pretty nice quotes . Like in first part of show - Persian ambassador asks " How can you allow WOMEN to speak in front of me?" and she snaps " Because only Spartan women give birth to real man ( you fag ) " Part of the comedy script I guess. ( See? It's a romance comedy! )
Also ! Point to note- LEONIDAS IS HEN-PECKED! Why do I say that? Easy... Persian envoy is about to be pushed into the pit, he cries " THIS IS MADNESS!!" And then Leon hesitates. Has to look pleadingly at his wife, like " Oh please can I kill him please please??" and she nods " Oh alright" and so he goes " THIS IS SPARTA!!" and then gives him the earth and water he asked for ... right at the bottom of the well.
Oh btw point to note - this guy is also Gorgo =>>>>>

Any resemblance? Hahaaa~

EPHIALTES aka. traitor to the Spartans
Historically he's very very wrong. First and foremost, Ephialtes was never depicted as a hunchback, but a normal citizen.. and also not a Spartan either! But a local citizen, who simply betrayed them for the money and reward. NOT because " YOU ARE WRONG! LEONIDAS! " and stuff like that, or cos he couldn't pick up the shield as a hunchback and thus compromised the formation. Nice addition to the plot , tho, but no. Just to clear things up... the Greeks, of course, never forgot him for that. In ancient AND modern Greek, the word " Ephialtes" means nightmare. Why not shit ? Nightmare is just too cool for him.. I mean, people are like going to use his name on WoW, and then tell people " It means Nightmare in Greek man" and everyone will go " W0AH!!! ThAt 15 Aw350M3!!!! " " C00L!!" " L33t!" Whereas toilet bowl would be more like " What a piece of Ephialtes!"
People don't like the fact that he's a hunchback and therefore the villian - like making him evil cos he's hunched, and therefore not politically correct. Oh screw it. This is an ACTION show. The hell with political correctness!!! But still not exactly good for me. I hunch too. -.-

THERON aka Selfish politician and traitor to Sparta - but fictional
Yes, point to note, this character is a fictional enemy to Sparta in the movie, made because they needed a subplot to supplement the actual one. But still! An entertaining idiot to hate! I think. I only remember the part where he threatens the Queen into his submission, and tells her " This will not be over soon, and you will hate it.. I am not your king!" Later, when she stabs him in the stomach, she whispers back " This will not be over soon- you will hate it- for I am not your queen!" Lol.. so much sarcasm. But that's about all he's useful for.
OK! Now time to review the troops...

SPARTAN HOPLITES
Number : 300
Hit Points : 160
Weapon Type : Spear - melee damage 20, atk speed 1.80, bonus damage vs calvary
Armour : Mail helmet with cloak and round shield
Secondary Weapon : Sword - melee damage 12, atk speed 1.20
Ability : Phalanx - + 100% resistance to arrow damage
Most hoplites actually wear body armor, in addition to the standard cloaks and helmets that the Spartans wield, but not these madmen. As a result, they are faster but far less protected- which is no matter to these crazy folks. The phalanx was an actual formation for the hoplites in ancient Greece - it involved a tight interlocking of shields, preventing ranged fire from hurting them, and even melee weapons were easily deflected with good skill. Only problem is a huge reduction in advance speed, but that isn't much of an issue when the battle issues. Long spears were effective in dealing with mounted horsemen, and with keeping short range foot troops at bay, while the short swords were dealt out when the enemy closed in.

PERSIAN SLAVE TROOPS / SWORD FODDER
Number : Varied. Some say 10,000, others say more.
Hit Points : 70
Weapon Type : Short Swords - melee damage 7, atk speed 1.40
Armour : Cloth or leather
Ability : None
These men were basically fodder for the first wave. Historically, the first actual wave composed more of Medeans recruited by Xerxes for this war, as well as traitorous Greeks conscripted from the conquered lands. Not much of a fight, and they died pretty quickly even in real history.

PERSIAN ARCHER
Number : Again, varied - might be 10,000, 100, 000, or worse. Or less. Unsure.
Hit Points : 50
Weapon Type : Arrow - ranged damage 7, atk speed 2.00, range 500
Armour : Cloth or leather
Ability : None
The archers were, in practicality, not much use from the Persian foot troops either, simply because the hoplites' shields prevented their arrows from doing any damage. However, they were more cost-effective - they probably played a part in reducing the morale of the other Greeks, forcing them to rout in the final stand. They prevented the advance of the hoplites when they unleashed the hail of arrows to block out the sun. And most importantly, unlike Xerxes' other troops, they DID NOT DIE! Yes they did not! Not even in the final charge of the Spartans in the Battle of Thermopylae did one archer die- mostly because they were easily 2 or 3 km away from the battlefield, where the hoplites could not advance. And they killed plenty of Spartans when they finally surrounded them after Ephialtes' contribution. Nonetheless, not very exciting troops.

THE 10,000 IMMORTALS
Number : Exactly 10,000 on every campaign
Hit Points : 150
Weapon Type : Double swords - melee damage 10, atk speed 1.00
Armour : Plate mask with mail body armour
Ability : Fear - - 50% to enemy combat abilities when effective
The 10,000 Immortals were an actual regiment among the Persian forces, although personally, I first heard they were in the Hittites from my history text. Oh well.. at any rate, these are the true elite of the army they were conscripted in. From birth they were trained, and like the Spartans are given extreme combat conditioning before being accepted into service. They number at exactly 10,000 - no more , no less. They are the king's bodyguard , and as Xerxes is a "god-king", naturally, he would have Immortal guards at his side. While they are not really invincible, they are very well-skilled in combat to have their foes fear their prescence in battle, and should any fall, they are immediately replaced by others that are trained in the order but not yet used - thus they keep their numbers at the exact 10,000. Unfortunately for them, the Spartans decided to "put their hame to the test" instead of believing the myth, and thus proved them far less competent than thought. However, being more skilled, they did manage a few more kills, although still not enough.
Ok thats enough for now. There is more to come for the GLORY OF SPARTA!!!!
- NOTNOT DK